Flowers for all genders - Choosing personal flowerS

Jun 22

Choosing the way you want to showcase personal flowers for weddings can be tricky for some couples. For LGBTQ+ couples, this challenge is on a heightened level. It might feel uncomfortable to choose between the flower options, or it might be difficult to see the vision aesthetically. If you’re looking for anything slightly outside of the traditional box, your inspiration and examples are limited to very few. This all makes it hard for a lot of couples to see themselves with personal flowers on their wedding days. Even when we try to search for specific LGBTQ+ content, a lot of the main search hubs don’t deliver variety like they should.

Beyond not knowing how to sculpt the aesthetics and not have visual aids, there are a lot of follow-up questions to the idea of stepping away from 1 bouquet & 1 boutonniere. For couples:

Should both people have a bouquet? Should one person have a bouquet, and one a boutonniere? What about two corsages? No flowers? Wearable flowers?

Now what if your best friend is a different gender, and they are standing up in your wedding party. What are they going to wear? Will they have a bouquet or a boutonniere?

If flowers are important to you, then its important that we figure out an option for personal flowers that feels comfortable. Contrary to popular belief, flowers are not inherently feminine. Flowers can be any intention or mood. They can also be interpreted differently depending on who is perceiving them. Just like art, it’s all subjective. This is why I believe flowers are for everyone.

I do think that the idea of flowers being too feminine is dying, along with the need for wedding traditions to stay within the bounds of gender expectations.

If choosing personal flowers is a decision that needs to be made regarding the couple, I always say do what feels like you, or what you see when you close your eyes and envision the day. Anyone can have a bouquet or wearable flowers, or both. You and your partner can match, or you can wear co responding items. The options really are endless, and this is the moment where you should absolutely think “forget traditions, I’m going to do whatever I want”. I promise that any decision you make can be sculpted to you, and it will feel like you and will never look out of place. Styling is the key to everything.

If this is a decision that needs to be made regarding someone in the wedding party: consider what they will be comfortable with first, and aesthetics second. It is likley that you are close enough to have an open conversation with this person regarding their wishes, since they are in your wedding party. Although you may think “this is my wedding, I want to make the choices” , I think we all can agree relationships and comfort are ultimately more important than aesthetics.

Although it is aesthetically pleasing for everyone to have the same flowers (all bouquets, all boutonnieres, etc. ), I think it looks just fine to have one or two other choices within the wedding party. If it matches the aesthetic of the person who is rocking the florals, that aesthetic is just as important to the overall look. Not to mention, when your friend feels seen and represented they will glow much more, and that is worth compromising an “aesthetic”. There are other options like a floral lapel or a floral tie, although you want to make sure you don’t outshine the main couples florals.

A few options that are suited to literally anyone standing up in the wedding:

A Bouquet is a hand-held bunch of flowers. This can be large, dramatic, and wispy. This can also be bold with structure and style. Regardless of your gender, bouquets are a stylish, cute, traditional item that can be held by anyone. Styling bouquets to match your aesthetic might be the key to making bouquets flow for you, if you are having trouble seeing the vision but you want to go this route.

A new wave that’s taking over this year is the Flower Purse. This is a chic option to the traditional bouquet. I wouldn’t usually add a trendy item like this into an item-suggestion-list, however this look would fit into so many iconic aesthetics, so I also believe this look is for everyone. It’s still handheld, but adds in a fashion flair. This shifts the flowers from being a huggable, handheld item, to something that can be draped over your arm and be a bit more casual about, all while looking cool.

A Boutineere is a small pin-on bunch of small flowers. This typically corresponds to the design of other personal flowers or the larger event design. This is a more traditional option for anyone wearing a suit. This option is the least “extra” of them all. They offer a clean, polished look, giving the suit wearers a pop of color and life.

A Floral Lapel is a custom sized wearable floral design that can be attached to the lapel of a suit. This is a more flower forward option for suit wearers who want to do more than a boutonniere.

A Corsage is a bracelet adorned with flowers. Traditionally, these were for the feminine family members of the couple, or sometimes the bridal party/ officiant. Realistically, jewelry is for everyone. Modern corsages are often made on metal cuffs or wire, although the jewelry trend has not faded from the wedding scene.

Many florists are creating floral jewelry in all shapes, sizes, and designs. This can be anything from earrings to hair clips to body chains. Just ask your florist! If you can dream up other wearable flower items, we can make it.

My advice on this will always stay the same: do whatever you want. If you have always seen yourself with a bouquet, even it might be taboo for how you look, who cares! Do it anyways. It is your wedding, do what makes you comfortable and what makes you feel like you. Only your opinion matters. If you want to make a bold choice and you need someone to cheer you on, I’ll stand in the background and be your personal cheerleader.

Below is a sneak peak of a photoshoot with Payton May Photography. The purpose behind this was to highlight the love between Kolton & Eli while displaying different floral options for a same-sex male couples.

These wearable florals were designed with seasonal florals from Seattle Growers Market.

I really want to add to the content for LGBTQ+ couples looking for inspiration, since there is practically none. Lapels are one of my favorite options for suit wearing couples. Their shapes can be customized and the options for designs are truly endless, so this makes it incredibly easy to customize.
I also wanted to give the guys bouquets for a few shots. My favorite of the bouquets from this shoot is the grassy bouquet. Something about the sculptural elements felt a bit more masculine, and the simplicity was peaceful and flowed nicely.

More photos are to come soon!